Gratitude

Some moments are filled with perfection, brimming over my proverbial cup until I'm overwhelmed with waves of gratitude.

Here I sit, snow falling outside my window, and my house is unusually quiet as I stare into the white void and smile. My boys are out shopping for new shoes, and my darling daughter has just gone down for a nap. I'm alone and that in itself is something to be grateful for.

our backyard

And yet there is more. Jazz is playing on the radio, the good kind, and I start humming the tune before I realize why I know it so well.

This perfect song enters my world and tears fill my eyes.

There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all

This song always makes me hyperaware of the current moment. The lyrics are plump full of yesterdays and tomorrows and it's that contrary blend that steers me into the now. I am all at once grateful for all that came before, for what I have now, and for the future I can't predict. This song requires my full attention and for that I am rewarded with a be-here-now moment of Zen.

I feel both cheated and grateful that my father is no longer with us. It's coming on nine years since his passing and while I would prefer he be here on earth with me, there is something important about having him on my side, on the other side, that grounds me in a way that nothing else can and jolts me into full awareness that life can be cut short. I don't think I was one to ever take life for granted, but I also believe I must have done some of that in my capricious youth. It's inevitable.

If my father hadn't died when he did, I may not have moved back to Seattle when I did. I wouldn't work for the company I work for, I wouldn't have met my husband, and I wouldn't have been blessed with these exactly-right-for-me children who have chosen me to be their mother.

If I am to be grateful for the now, I must embrace all that came before. Each step, each choice, each misadventure all led me to be sitting here in this moment, in a quiet home, watching the snow fall, and counting my many blessings.

In my life, I've loved them all.

Brown Eyes, Green Poop

Ah, the benefits of preschool strike again.

Turbo blurted out this phrase the other night and laughed pretty hard after doing so. I had to know more, but I may regret my investigative impulse this time.

I got him to repeat the phrase and then I asked a few key questions to uncover the mystery. Here is the fascinating, and a little bit gross, result.

Turbo: "Brown eyes and green poop! Hahahahaha!"

This is what he was talking about:

I guess now is as good a time as any to quit eating ice cream, what with Lent is upon us and all.

Author and Illustrator

I love it when this is my method of finding out what my son is learning at preschool. I usually forget to read the weekly flyers of the subjects they are discussing. Turbo fills me in.

Last night as I was about to begin reading books to Turbo before bedtime, he asked me, "Who is the author and illustrator?"

Olive You

"Mom, I have olives in my eye."

I thought I misheard him until I looked over to see Turbo poking himself in the eye. He was smiling, so it must not have hurt too bad.

I asked him, "Does it feel like an olive when you touch your eye?"

Turbo replied, "Yeah," and then laughed a good and silly laugh.

Owl Says What?

I've been practicing animal sounds with Smiley lately. Oh, how I love this age where they can say "moo" and "woof" and bathe in the delight of learning something so simple and sweet. Smiley squeals with happy laughter when she knows an animal or its sound. I could listen to that sound all day.

The sound she knows best is an owl. Come to think, she's been saying, "hoo hoo" with the cutest pursed lips for a couple of months now.

It's because of this enormous talent of Smiley's that I tell you this tale of Turbo. We have this new box of Kleenex® by our kitchen table and so at dinner tonight I asked Turbo, "What kind of animal is that?"

Turbo replied, "A bird. See? There's a pink one here, and a yellow one." He excitedly got out of his chair to show me all the birds on the box, one on each side.

Me: "What sound does that bird make?"

Turbo, without pause: "Turtle-oortle-ooh-ooh. Cheep, cheep. Hoo hoo."

What?! We're pretty sure that was meant to be a "cock-a-doodle-doo," along with some other bird sounds thrown in for good measure.

I'm proud of Turbo's complex web of detailed story-telling and sometimes run-on sentences, but maybe it's time to get back to the basics.

Hoo-hoo.

Kids Take Over Computer

I don't know why I'm compelled to post this, except that Turbo was overwhelmingly proud of his creation so I feel it must be captured somewhere and this blog is as good as any.

My two kids in tandem created this masterpiece I call Wall of Text.

Smiley helmed the mouse, which proved a little frustrating for Turbo at the keyboard as the cursor kept jumping in and out of his window of creative space. I admit I sometimes intervened to get the cursor back where it belonged. Does that make me a creative partner?

I should mention that I was busy on the floor changing Smiley's diaper when I first realized Turbo was on my computer. I ignored the clacking of the keyboard until I looked up to find he had somehow opened my Facebook page. My apologies to my cousin for the random chat message she received. :)

Turbo's initial purpose at the computer can be best told in his own words, "Let's see what I'm getting for next Christmas," he said. "Candy canes, stocking, [something-I-couldn't-quite-make-out], and a statue."

And then, "Look, mom, I made a statue!" I have no idea what that picture was on my FB wall, but I hope it was just a view of something posted by a friend and not something he posted on my behalf.

Turbo then proceeded to hit a lot of keys on the keyboard (which explains the gibberish chat to my cousin) and so I opened up a new email message and let him have at it.

Here is that result:

ddfddfddfddfwwwwwqddddddddddddddddd..

D ARW      S S FD FDS F SCDSD  SDDDDGDGVVDVBDDD FCBVNFVFBFVCVBNVBNNB     BNM    BB B B NMNB BN N  N  N BBNBNNBB N BMN NBNM V    BV  V  QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Turbo pointed to the final zero and declared, "This means 'stop.'"